Because of life's peripheral opponents, I haven't been able to play as much lately. Here's the latest on our hero:
To fund this book obsession of mine I hunt and sell the items I've crafted at whatever local hold's general store or nearby merchant. Of all my skills Crafting is sitting at a fat and juicy 39 for this level 10and very soon to be 11 Dark-Elf. Speaking of fat, along with collecting and carryying mostly deer, fox, rabbit and wolf skins, as well as the goods pilfered from those who have been unfortunate to attack me, my entire book collection, currently sitting at whopping 160 is also with me. At 1 lbs each, I now have a weight issue carving into my profits. In Oblivion this problem was alleviated with the MULE spell that would allow me to carry so much more weight. I haven't had the good fortune of finding such a spell yet in Skyrim. But I'm hoping to find a solution soon because the increase in cash flow means that I could purchase a house finally.
A Growing Concern
As I look for a solution to my weight issue, I decided that it was time to continue the main story and see more dragons by finally telling the Jarl at WHITERUN about the dragon in Helgen. Yes, I'm delayer of quests. Anyway, I would like to learn some Shouts. This means finishing a mission and taking on others....Hmmmm.... more chances to discover more books. I'm liking this idea already. So I'm off to WHITERUN after having sold my goods and lightening my load. Speaking of load, I can only carry 315 total and 160 of which are in books. I really need that house and fast.
I spotted and had slain two deers with poisoned arrows(Alchemy is increasing) from the kick ass Orcish Bow of Arcing, I picked up during my exploration of FAT MAN'S GROTTO, not far outside of WHITE RUN. In sneak attack mode, I hit the first Deer and it stood still, turned some kind of greenish color and collapsed. Upon hearing the arrow's impact on us poor friend. The second took off for what he thought was going to be a nice sprint. But I quickly reloaded and caught him as he was trying to jump over a log in mid air. That was one for the highlight reels if I could've captured that. I also noticed two mean looking cats walking my direction as I was skinning my game. They looked like business and by that I mean, they looked like they have a mission for me. Because I wasn't in the mood to take on new missions, I kept it moving and put some distance between myself and the mission-giving-bandits. And they followed. For miles. Now two became 4. And eventually four became six. What do they want with little old me? Curiosity made me strategically slow within an earshot of my new stalkers.
"We're going to teach you a lesson about taking what doesn't belong to you." Was the first thing they shouted at me. Ok, I know I was caught pickpocketing (low pickpocketing skills can get you in lots of trouble in this game, man) just about everywhere I've been to increase my PP skills( I know PP doesn't sound right but work with me on this). But I payed my fines and never went to jail. So what do they want with me now?
"Skyrim belongs to the Nords!" Ok. Now this racist fellow has a gripe about me, a dark-elf, being in his neck of the woods. Now we're getting somewhere. So these goons just want to follow me for miles for pickpocketing and territorial differences? I smell a mission here and it's overcooked and burning. I thought about taking them on but 6? Wait. Now they're 8? Wait a minute, the two new goons, a great looking Argonian and a scary looking Khajit, love the fur colors and markings on him) behind me are wearing that those sexy, light, possibly magically altered, form fitting, DARK BROTHERHOOD armors. Hmmmm....have I stirred the ire of the Dark Brotherhood somehow? I love the DBH and would love to join them again. Perhaps this is a chance. Oh the books they might have. Yes! This might be a great day for me. But I have this growing numbers problem that I have to take care of and at this pace, I may have an army on my tail. Strategy time!
Where's an imperial guard when you need him? What's this growling? A BEAR! Hmmmm...A BIG, FAT, POWERFUL BEAR, whose coat can fetch me some good armor and, who may be big and strong enough to unwittingly help me with my growing goon issue. I think I'll call him BIG POPPA BEAR. This cat was huge. I immediately went into sneak mode and hid behind a large rock with a copse of trees to the left of it and a river curling around the front of said area where my bear friend is now taking an afternoon nap and resting. Looking at the salmon jumping upstream (Another Skyrim WOW moment) Big Poppa Bear probably had a feast and now has the "itis". Hope you're enjoying your short nap BPB because it's about to be disturbed.
The stage ad trap is set as I strategically sandwiched the bear between my hidden self and the oncoming goon-squad....and waited...and sang(Rock-a-bye Big Bear, on the soft ground).
"SKYRIM BELONGS TO THE NORDS!"
Ah yes! The racist train is never late and its stupidest passenger is about to get his ticket punched. Why am I chanting, "JERRY JERRY JERRY JERRY!" as Racist Nord was charging resting BPB with his double-handed sword? Oh BOY!
SWAT!
Racist Nord caught a red light express into the river and landed on his back. DEAD! Ouch! Courtesy of a vicious right hook by Big Poppa Bear that would bring Tyson back to his glory days... I wonder if he has books on him? Big Poppa Bear was now surrounded by the other four goons that traveled with racist Nord and have surprisingly adopted his philosophy of Skryim belonging to the Nords. How quickly a racist ideology spreads in this game . My bear friend is going to need a little help here. So I significantly reduced their health with poisoned arrows in sneak mode and giving 4X the damage with each shot. Awesome. SHIT! Too awesome. The big bear has dispatched his enemies with too much ease, and little health damage. And now he has eyes for little ole me behind a rock. Frackin ungrateful ass soon to be studded armor bear. As I was about to conjure my familiar wolf buddy to help with my defense, I heard one DBH member coming for said bear and moved fast. Yikes! Uncomfortably fast. The Argonian was a natural born bear butcher with his blade and was wore the bear's health down with just three slashes of that sexy looking jaggedly curvy instrument in his hand (keep your thoughts clean will ya reader? Geesh!) But where's his Khajit buddy? Probably somewhere behind the bushes licking its butt trying to get the taste of Khajit cooking out of its mouth....hahaha! One of my favorite jokes from Oblivion.
So I conjured up my wolf for an assist and...
Drum roll sound!
I leveled up! Yes! I...
OUCH! Why is my health almost drained? I quickly drank a potion that replenished my health and looked around and VOILA! Butt-licking Khajit turned invisible and stabbed me from behind. RUN!
I took off an saw that Bear and Argonian offed themselves. Why is this mammoth up ahead glowing green as though it drank from a polluted river with nuclear waste from the Simpsons?
"I'm going to kill you Elf." Shouted the butt-licking Khajit. So I ran past the giant accompanying glowing green mammoth who didn't like us near him and just as I hoped, picked a fight with butt licker and clobbered him with his big stick. That's the way you do it Mr. Giant. Speak softly and in your case, say nothing at all but unintelligible grunts and carry a bick stick with your glowing mammoth frind and the world won't think you're weird. Not one bit.
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